Listen – Move and the Way Will Open
The Quakers have a saying that our enemies are merely those whose stories we have not heard yet. Listen more, Listen to other peoples stories.
Confidential, what does that word really mean. To you it may mean absolute secrecy. However when you tell something to a Doctor, confidentially does this mean s/he tells no one else? No. Your Therapist? Well s/he will tell their supervisor about you and if you are going to hurt yourself or another they will inform your Doctor or the relevant authorities. In fact in most clinicians will likely share your information with a supervisor or a supervisory clinical group. So confidential means: ‘need to know’ . What we hear if we are not listening is: “totally secret”
The same with your manager at work, s/he may share information with others in a management team, most likely if the information shared effects your work or the objectives of the organisation.
Most people are not listening, they are preparing the next thing they want to say and just leaving a gap. They decide on a frame in which to put your words and theirs, then define everything according to this frame.
I hope you are getting this, most of us just aren’t listening, we are hearing things but framing them with our predefined ideas. Like William James said ‘some people think they are thinking when they are really only rearranging their prejudices’. Well some people think they are listening but are really only rearranging their prejudices….Change the way you talk, Change the way you Listen and things will change.
Move and the way will open.