If only I could give more…

If only I could …Then everything would be alright

There I am in Waterstones looking at the self help books that seem to flood the place in New Year, new year resolutions and so on. I imagine if you go to the gym you have noticed all those extra people, who you have never seen before. They too are trying to start the year right. So I thought, most of us that can afford this stuff have enough already, we don’t need another book, self help tape, or even a slice of left over stollen cake.

But thats not how our society is working, something is telling us or teaching us, “if only I had that book, I would be OK” or those designer jeans, jacket, jug, sofa, phone, computer linkedin management training then I will be OK and others will see I am OK.

Conspicuous consumption symbolises prosperity and fullfillment to a vast number of people, so why is it that no one seems particularly happy. As Good Charlotte say in their song Life styles of the rich and the famous:

Always see it on tv or

Read it in the magazines

Celebrities want sympathy

All they do is piss and moan

Inside the rolling stone

Talking about how hard life can be

I’d like to see them spend the week

Livin’ life out on the street

I don’t think they would survive (OK it works better when they sing it)

Now you may not like Good Charlotte, but its hard to avoid the fact that in the New year people seem to leave their jobs or seek a new one and the newspapers have been filled with pictures of our high streets with homeless people in every nook and cranny you can get a pop up tent.

Why is it when we have problems, feel under pressure, get stressed, that we think having more, anything more will fix it, why do we feel if only I had….X, that everything would be alright. Why do we imagine that some other ordinary person might have the answer that I don’t have, and if only I could have it or they would give it to me then my problems would be solved. Why do we think this person is any less ordinary than you or me. The expert on you is you.

There is a marvellous line I think from the Course in Miracles, that suggests “to give this gift is how to make it yours”. Nothing can truly be had, and the spirit of the Season is one of .

I don’t want to be misinterpreted here, living abundantly is also the Universe’s gift to us, and prosperity is a good thing to connect to. However both of these things have been closely related in modern thought to having, possessing, owning, buying and so on. We have lost site of true abundance and prosperity and our ability no only to connect with it without being attached to the idea of it. In addition abundance and prosperity are a creative process and one we can use to gift wealth and abundance to others. JK Rowling is a fantastic example of that.

The question that needs to be asked is less in the having than in the . A friend of mine, now unfortunately passed away, had once given everything that he owned away, because some of it was ill gotten gains from a previous criminal lifestyle and he wasn’t sure anymore what had been gained legally and what legally, and he wanted to start a fresh.

What can you give to enrich someone elses life, what can you do to increase their prosperity, to help them live in the abundance we see everywhere? When we can work towards ridding the world of poverty, ensuring that what the world provides, is provided for all, then and only then will we truly have it all.

What you give next will decide how well you are and how you feel, maybe if we all thought…. if only I could , then everything will be alright…. it would be!

Get in touch if you’d like to talk about your charity, your strategy, whether for IT or the next 5 years, or you would like to understand how a leadership qualities framework could help you.

Call me on 07813813371 or email


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